so this song is fuckin rad. its sad... but bad ass... nothing like a lullaby about drug addiction and sex - i love music. this song could almost pass for a first dance. its four in the morning - i spent the day reading a book, trying to do absolutely anything to get thru the whole thing without pain. talked to my mom about everything going on right now, the good, the bad, the irrelevant... which makes no sense... i made a new myspace playlist, i went to a psych review for our last exam... it was helpful - i made a few careless mistakes but the rest of my wrong answers actually taught me something... anyway forgive my boring babbeling that seems to always escape me ritualistically haha. basically i did anything i could so that i didnt have to study for psych. techniqually i don't have to study because the final is optional... i keep reminding myself that. stat is right after it tho so maybe i shud start cracking down... id just rather read books and play the guitar - can you blame me? ive been really anxious the last few days - i get this shitty choking/blunt object being jammed in my throat feeling and i have to focus on breathing for like 2 whole minutes... cold water helps too but still I know its anxiety or nerves or whatever... im leaving so soon and it really causes me pain, the anxiety. i wonder if ill have a reason to write when the nightmare ends. i hope so, i have a feeling nothing but good stuff is coming my way... the storm is clearing and the sun will soon shine to warm up my brittle pittsburgh tainted bones. blah i hate this unbarable city. i dont even care if our crime rate or muder count is higher... its just BETTER. i think this is the last city I'd ever live in. apart from it being cold its also boring. thats like an oxymoron... a boring city. | 
time to look for another show i guess
